One cannot say for sure how a child will turn out after dealing with his parents divorcing. You can only hope for the best for your children. Your role as a parent doesn’t end with the divorce, however. Help your children adapt to their new surroundings and channel their emotions into productive activities. Here are some ways to help them express themselves:
The strongest feeling in a divorce is the pain. It’s because the child is losing something important, something they have known all their life. The security that came with having a complete family is taken away from them, and they can’t do anything to stop it. This emotion can be expressed with the help of music and lyrics. Try enrolling your child in guitar or piano lessons. You can also consider voice lessons if they have shown a bit of interest in singing. Drums can also help them channel their frustrations without having to engage in physical brawls, something that children of divorce might be quite familiar with. Even ukulele lessons are available in Lehi, so your child can learn a variety of instruments.
Summers used to be fun with both parents around to take the children to trips or tours. Now that everything has changed, you can find your child growing restless as summer approaches. They think of the things that you can’t do anymore as a family, and they might isolate themselves from the world. Rather than let them remain cooped up in their room, encourage them to go to summer camp, where they can meet new friends. It’s important to have some support during this trying time, and being surrounded by their peers will help them integrate into society easily.
Not everyone is confident enough to hold an instrument or use their voice to channel their emotions. Some are quieter in their suffering, but it’s this same quality that can make them good writers. Poetry might be a good way to express grief and pain. Essays and short stories can also develop their skills while giving them an outlet to control what happens next. When they’re writing, they’re showing a little bit of themselves into what they create. They might even give their characters similar situations they’ve faced in real life, but with better endings. This doesn’t change anything for your child’s life, but it renews their hope and gives them some semblance of control.
If your child is proving entrepreneurial and you have a job that allows you to take them to work, do so. This will show them you want to spend time, and it will also teach them skills they’ll find useful in the future. If you have your own company, take them in as an intern or just let them help around in whatever way they can. Children of divorce struggle to find where they fit in; show them they have an essential place in your life and that they will never be replaced. Do that while supporting what they want to do in the future.
Your children look at you as an example of how they want to be in the future. Set them up for success by not letting your divorce get in the way of their growth.